READ THIS. oyceter on Wiscon's panel about gender, gender tropes, bodies in shoujo manga. READ IT.

I then went on a handwavy overgeneralization as to how I think US media tends to reward the "masculine" in that we have more women warriors and assertion and other stereotypically masculine traits but the men are not allowed to be "girly," whereas Japanese media may reward the "feminine" more in that the men are allowed to be more emotional and vulnerable and other stereotypically feminine traits but the women are not allowed to be aggressive.

Keep in mind Wiscon is an US convention - in my experience, the above happens with a lot of western media, but I overgeneralize too. Anyway, that quote was... insightful. As everything said there.