la_vie_noire: (Stop with the idiocy)
The memory of sexist abuse online.

Memory of pain is a peculiar thing. There’s no doubt that the online abuse I got then, hurt – but I have difficulty remembering what it felt like. I remember the disgust I felt at those cartoons: I don’t think I was afraid but I’m not sure I would remember feeling fear any more than I properly remember feeling pain – they’re both essentially visceral emotions, not easy to remember with your head years afterwards. What I do remember, from both then and now, is the anger, the frustration, at not being able to do anything to the men who were enjoying themselves hurting me. Reporting them to LJ Abuse ceased to be satisfying as an act of retaliation when it became clear after a few days that LJ Abuse intended to do nothing about them. Banning them from my journal was not satisfying when I knew they would simply create a new journal and comment again. I wanted those men to be stopped. I wanted them permanently off livejournal as their playground. I wanted the ones who’d posted the worst threats reported to their local law enforcement. I wanted LJ Abuse to take action, as according to their own TOS they were obliged to do. And I do remember exactly how it felt to know that they wouldn’t.

As a direct result of my experiences as a product that didn’t fit in the eggbox, I became an early adopter (2007) of the Internet proverb that if you’re not paying, you’re not the customer, you’re the product. Website corporations will only care about online abuse of “the product” if it makes “the product” less saleable: and the online abusers, let’s not forget, are also “the product”. And it appears quite likely to me that they are considered a better “product” than we are – this is a gendered situation, with women overwhelmingly those being abused in this way. Women are traditionally, simply not considered as valuable an audience for advertisers. Why would our corporate overlords care if online abusers drive women away from their site, so long as the men stay?


The reality of online abuse is that some men hate women. As Sian at Crooked Rib points out, there is a recognisable set of excuses by men to make out that it doesn’t happen. The reason why so many website hosts ignore it or treat it as unimportant – we’re not useful product. Of course that perception too is rooted in sexism, and the use of sexist abuse to silence women is, as Laurie Penny points out, Older Than Dirt.


  • Jun. 5th, 2011 at 6:14 PM
la_vie_noire: (Stop with the idiocy)
Via [personal profile] delux_vivens. As always, when you said "women" in mainstream feminist circles, you mean, "white, cis women."

Otherwise, I don't get what Yonmei even tried to compare here.
la_vie_noire: (Stop with the idiocy)
Oh, please. Enough is enough.

This manga is shitty. Very shitty. If you ever felt compelled to give it a chance for something I said, just don't. I couldn't bear the guilt.


  • Nov. 25th, 2010 at 8:18 PM
la_vie_noire: (Utena-orz)
This comic here would have been so awesome if it wasn't for the whole penis-monument thing. It describes so fine the reactions of privileged people (seriously, not only cis men) when called out.

So, cis-feminists, damn it.

This shit again

  • Sep. 27th, 2010 at 9:26 PM
la_vie_noire: (Stop with the idiocy)
Shakesville brings their White Women Being Superior's asses to the yard. Because Melissa wanted to complain about a white man being sexist. But she missed he was being sexist AND racist. So she took the opportunity to be a little racist by herself.

the northeastern region of Thailand which has become a destination for Western men who are "drawn by the low cost of living, slow pace of life and the exotic reputation of Thai women."

Which has nothing to do with colonization, imperialism, and capitalism.

But this is the jewel I want to share:

Endemic extreme poverty, an economy in which even a small US pension makes you a rich man, and a vulnerable and easily exploitable population of women whose education, if there was any to speak of, didn't exactly introduce them to feminist concepts. Just your basic MRA paradise.

See me throw up. White women. Always paternalistic, knowing nothing about the situation of "those poor women" (and their countries) who, of course, are a monolith. And don't know better.

It SO reminded me to this wonderful essay: Ouch! Western feminists' 'wounded attachment' to the 'third world prostitute'

I now turn to the second of Liddle and Rai's contentions about the workings of orientalist power in feminist discourse: that orientalist power is invoked discursively when male oppression and female resistance are characterized in such as way to reinforce a 'hierarchy of civilization'. Barry's work, and the campaign rhetoric of CATW, clearly locate trafficking within 'backward', traditional societies (see Kempadoo 1998). As in Victorian feminists' Indian campaign, 'traditional and religious practices' are seen as the root of the problem of trafficking:


This attitude-that third world women, and prostitutes in particular — are victims of their (backward, barbaric) cultures is pervasive in the rhetoric of CATW and in those western feminist organizations that have joined their CATW's campaign around the Vienna Protocol against trafficking. According to Planned Parenthood President Gloria Feldt,

In the U.S., we tend to see the issue of trafficking and forced prostitution through the lens of our affluent democratic society. In many cultures, women and girls have no power and very limited rights so that their vulnerability to sex trafficking is high (quoted in Soriano 2000: 3).

The co-director of CATW stated recently

In the global South and East, victims of the sex trade are often young women and girls who are desperately poor in cultures where females are expected to sacrifice themselves for the well being of their families and communities (Leidhold 1999: 4).

In CATW inspired feminist discourses, the 'third world' sex worker is presented as backward, innocent, and above all helpless — in need of rescue (Murray 1998, Doezema 1998, 2000). Through her, the superiority of the saving western body is marked and maintained.

Also, people, you know I ban if you annoy me. Just reminding you. I have no energy right now.


  • Sep. 18th, 2010 at 12:02 AM
la_vie_noire: (Clare-killing)

Dios. Necesito un lavado de ser. De nuevo. Pero mucho más profundo.

¿Saben lo que es tener que ir en un colectivo escuchando los griteríos que consisten en "cánticos" llenos de insultos sexuales misóginos y homófobos de un grupo de universitarios de 18-21 años (y algunos incluso mayores, dios me libre) clase media alta que trata de reafirmar su masculinidad?

Soy amable diciendo que eran cánticos; eran "puto," "puta," "huevos," "se la dan" al azar y en cualquier orden porque todos saben que eso te sube en la jerarquía de la macheza y lo hardcore. No se necesita creatividad con el oñembomachose (y "macho" por supuesto quiere decir, "hombre [cis] de gran pene y capacidad para someter sexualmente a cualquiera").

No me merecía eso. Nunca vuelvo a asomarme a esta porquería que son los juegos universitarios.
la_vie_noire: (Default)
I blame ontd_feminism.

Man says he would never vote "guilty" if he were a jury in a rape case despite the evidence because menz are oprezzed by US's law. All the comments agree and consider him heroic because we live in a misandrist world. The whole site is a jewel. (Triggering for rape apologism, victim blaming and lot more shit I can't name.)

Also, there was this post featured about a white US senator saying white privileged was a myth because white people were impoverished.

Hmm. Some days.

Humanity, how you made me... arg

  • Jun. 3rd, 2010 at 4:43 PM
la_vie_noire: (Clare-killing)
If you are going to pretend that stereotypes aren't something extremely ugly and insulting when used on minorities who are devalued in a society dominated by people who love to discriminate against them... well, I have nothing. You know you aren't being naive.


The problem with some anti-rape campaigns is they they "show women naked, and they make men think more of sex, and that's bloody stupid". Please kindly kill humanity, thank you. Apparently, men can't look at women's skin without wanting to rape women.

Also, something I totally forgot to quote due to rage is the truly good critique Cara does to that poster:

On the one hand, I really, really love the focus on affirmative consent rather than passive consent or the lack of a “no.” I’m frankly tired of “no means no.” I hate the idea that someone has to say no to get someone to stop touching them, rather than say yes before someone feels the right to touch them in the first place. I like that the poster actually defines consent as the presence of a yes rather than the absence of some kind of revocation of consent that is otherwise constantly presumed to be present. “She didn’t say no” is an incredibly repulsive defense[*], and one that seems to only be growing in popularity and acceptability. It’s very important to combat that.

On the other hand, I find the “no entry” symbol and further pun regarding “entry” in the text to be glib and all around off-putting. Rape isn’t about “entry,” it’s about violation, and that can take many forms. And it really just seems like the wrong time for sexual innuendo and wordplay.

Further, while I don’t find the image to be overtly sexual, that doesn’t mean I don’t find it objectifying. I’m tired of seeing women’s bodies detached from their person, women being represented by their bodies rather than their faces, and women’s bodies just all around being used as symbols rather than treated like they belong to us. I’m tired of the idea that if we don’t show a face, it’ll be more universal — personally, I think that showing a face is a much better reminder that women are people, with thoughts, and feelings, and minds of our own. Beyond that, if we are going to use women’s body parts as representations for women, I’m tired of seeing the same precisely shaped body parts over and over again. I’m tired of the idea that only a thin woman with a flat stomach and no cellulite is “good looking enough” to be raped. And while I think that it would have been just as problematic, if not more so, to feature a woman of color in this kind of disembodied, headless, and objectified position, it is incredibly frustrating and disturbing that white women are so persistently presented as the only real victims of rape.

*Because you know how all people can say "no" or even consent. Heck, some rapists even look for people who can't consent (drunk, unconscious, disabled people) to rape.


Reborn fandom, as every fucking week of my life; fuck you you and your misogyny. Thank you.

Dear Reborn. Spoilers for latest chapters )

Dec. 8th, 2009

  • 8:22 AM
la_vie_noire: (Meets Minimal Standards of Decent Human)
13-Year-Old Girl Commits Suicide After Classmates Spread Nude Photos

Trigger Warning for discussions of suicide, descriptions of non-consensual sexual conduct, victim-blaming and slut-shaming

As Veronica Arreola said on her Twitter, while the media insists on calling this a “sexting-related suicide,” it’s much more accurately referred to as a “slut-shaming suicide.” Because the photograph she sent is not what drove this poor girl to kill herself — the non-consensual spreading of the photograph, and the subsequent reaction that her classmates and all adults in positions of authority had to it seems to absolutely have been what drove her to despair. And that is a truly vital distinction to make if we actually care about the fact that a 13-year-old girl is dead, and why.


And while everyone sure as hell seems to be worried about What! We’re! Teaching! Our! Girls! that they send the photographs, no one seems to be saying a goddamn peep about what we’re teaching our boys when they think that non-consensual sexual conduct is okay. Yet again, apparently consensual female sexuality is seen as a bigger threat to society — and to girls themselves — than non-consensual male sexual behavior perpetrated against them.

[...] And while the article rightfully goes on at length about the certainly awful way that the school dealt with their knowledge that Hope was self-harming and in danger, there is no mention of how the school’s actions also contributed to her being in danger in the first place. The fact is that they punished her — they told her over and over again that she was being called a slut and a whore because of her own actions, that being a “slut” or “whore” are very, very bad things that deserve punishment and bring reason for shame, that sluts and whores deserve to be taken out of school and to be used as an example of what happens when girls display any form of sexuality (with their consent or not), and that sluts and whores cannot be trusted to advise other students, because apparently they have no moral compasses. And the fact is that they apparently failed to punish the other slut-shamers, sexual harassers, bullies, and sexual perpetrators for whom they were responsible.

Hope Witsell made the decision to end her own life. A whole lot of other people seemingly decided that keeping women in their place was a lot more important than protecting a 13-year-old girl, and than stamping out sexual misconduct. A whole society backed that second decision up.

13 year old girl. Who still is slut shamed even after she is dead. Slut shamed by adults. 13 year old.
la_vie_noire: (Anthy flower)
The Sad Saga of Caster Semenya

It is a horde of people thinking they have a right to decide where you belong with only an ignorant impression of your gender proclivities and expression with zero understanding of your internal sex. And their opinion is to be given credence over your own. Transpeople undergoing Harry-Benjamin style therapy for “permission” to transition know this feeling very well. It is humbling, infuriating, and leaves you feeling powerless and adrift.

And for her there’s no point at the end of it, just the threat of the removal of everything that has brought you joy, the threat that all of this can be taken away because you were suspicious. Now the public and an arbitrary standard noone fully understands can remove the one passion that has defined your life and remove from you the dream of a little girl (to compete, perchance to medal in the Olympic games, to bring honor to your country and family, and most importantly to yourself).

Gone in an instant.

So when the test came back that she is in fact a form of intersex, a condition that is inconsistently ruled upon, that giant maw of uncertainty grew wider still as well as increasing the amount of vitriolic speculation amongst the public over how much advantage it has given her (and little examination over the possibility of none above the rest of her nongendered abnormalities).

Thankfully, her country is fighting for her, though she has already dropped out of her next race as the rumors continue to fly and as the deliberating bodies continue to put her training and competitions on hold until they decide what to do with the rest of her life.

And again, not hyperbole, if she is found to be “too manly” for the arbitrary standard (testosterone levels and receptors, something not similarly examined or enforced in male athletes outside of doping laws), she will be barred from competing in female competitions as well as likely male competitions. She’d be struck out from that euphoric moment of dreaming of an Olympic medal she has worked her entire life training for to never being able to run in a competition again.

As such, this should only surprise the terminally devoid of empathy.

Caster Semenya has been placed on Suicide Watch and yet another paper reporting on it decides her gender for her declaring her “proved a hermaphrodite”.

The world is trying to enforce their ideas on gender on her, a deliberative body will decide if she’s “too secretly male” to compete as she always has without incident or complaint for 18 years, to decide if she will ever be allowed to run at a moment most athletes begin the fevered dream and focus that they might be able to make a run at an Olympic gold medal, perhaps even being considered a favorite.

But hey, she “may” be allowed to keep the one gold medal she won though her competitor “may” also be awarded one as well you know to make clear what they think of Caster.

And so, this bright beautiful young butch woman is under suicide watch.

I end with this quote from lawmaker Butana Komphela, from the South African sports committee: “She is like a raped person. She is afraid of herself and does not want anyone near her. If she commits suicide, it will be on all our heads. The best we can do is protect her and look out for her during this trying time.”

No shit.

It’s time for the IAFF to get over themselves and accept the reality of gender in this world, the incongruity of sex and stop creating the type of world where they are pushing a strong woman to the brink of death “figuring out her sex for her”.

And it’s time for all of us to stop thinking ourselves the only real arbiters of someone’s real sex entirely from ignorant assumptions of gender performance.

Sep. 11th, 2009

  • 7:59 PM
la_vie_noire: (Anthy flower)
Caster Semenya Case Opening Old Wounds

But as I know from my time on planet Earth, if an African descended female athlete excels in spectacular fashion, we get accused of cheating or have ‘that’s a man’ shade hurled at us.

When you combine it with the hypercompetitive world of international sports in which national pride and prestige is on the line, it was inevitable that somebody would try to find a way to knock this talented runner out of international competition, especially with the 2012 London Olympic Games on the horizon. [...]

Continental Africans still haven’t forgotten how 800m runner and 2000 Olympic champion Maria Mutola of Mozambique was dogged throughout her illustrious decade long career by ‘that’s a man’ accusations despite passing test after test.

The way the Semenya case has been handled by the IAAF has only crystallized that impression on the mother Continent.

It’s probably why officials in South Africa are backing her all the way. Makhenkesi Stofile, South Africa’s sports minister said that Semenya and her family maintain she was gender-tested without her consent and that lawyers were being consulted over possible action.

In addition, Stofile has written to the IAAF demanding an apology and seeking a response to those Australian reports claiming that she’s intersex.

Yes, if he IAAF had questions, they should have quietly done those tests. Somebody leaked the info in Berlin that got this hot mess started. It’s also not a coincidence that another leak in this case results in an Australian newspaper publishing those allegations that Stofile reacted to with “shock and disgust”.

You have to feel for Semenya in this case. It has not only put her personal business out there, but has been done so in the most humiliatingly public way possible

In the meantime, her athletic future rests on the results of the gender test and an IAAF Council meeting set to take place in Monaco November 20-21.

Semenya has also received some advice and support from India’s Santhi Soundajaran, the last woman to be subjected to this type of withering international scrutiny.

“She should not let them take away her medal or allow one test to determine her fate. “She is a woman and that’s it, full stop,” Soundarajan says. “A gender test cannot take away from you who you are.”

Even if the people behind this are determined to take away her 800m world championship.


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