la_vie_noire | (no subject)

After writing to a cis person about some transphobic date-advice they gave to a tans man (an example as pointed out by Kynn: "Dating as an FtM can be hard. There are the girls who want to date a man, the men who want to date a man, and then the people who want to date a transsexual."),

keeva received these responses from the columnist:

I never set myself up as an expert. I freely admitted that I am more or less cisgendered, and writing for an audience who are more or less cisgendered as well. Our trans audience is small. I need to write to a larger audience. I needed to make some points clear, such as the fact that trans men and women are just men and women who have a hell of a lot more shit to deal with than most people. I asked if he would feel comfortable ticking the 'male' and 'bi' boxes because I don't feel comfortable ticking a 'female' box.

As to my terminology, I know the current debate about what is the acceptable terminology. I know that no matter what words I choose to use, someone will take offense to them. MtF, FtM, and female-bodied seemed to be the easiest to get my point across at this moment. I know that trans people are biologically and essentially the gender that they present. I also know a few people that would get extremely upset at me using the phrase 'trans people' or 'trans man'. I can't please everyone.

So, yeah. Thanks, but I don't care what you say. I will keep dehumanizing you because someone will get mad at me whatever I do!

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Man, that was rubbish advice with a sachharine cutesy flair. wtf?

Also kind of interesting hearing another regional perspective on getting dates, having always been in regions (NYC, MA college towns) with larger populations of people who would fit a similar description (geeky, small, glbt etc). I don't want to stereotype the South as one monolith, either. There are probably communities that are a bit subtler but still present where this person lives; I would feel really weird giving advice on places I know nothing about.

In Massachusetts "women's college" settings, I remember seeing some amount of fetishization of trans men by cis queer women alongside transmisogyny by the same crowd.

I can't talk about this because I have no idea, but so not surprised by this: "In Massachusetts "women's college" settings, I remember seeing some amount of fetishization of trans men by cis queer women alongside transmisogyny by the same crowd."